i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize