I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
