The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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