Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
