im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
