just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
