I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize