Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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