You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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