i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
