Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize