So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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