everyone is single if you try hard enough
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
