did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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