Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
