I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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