anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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