3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
