So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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