there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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