pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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