I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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