I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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