if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize