Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
