You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
