..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize