I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
