i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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