you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
