so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Bring me that man meat
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