Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
