she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
