he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
