the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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