I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
