In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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