let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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