Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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