we have officially lost it.
My balls are so social today.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
