He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize