she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize