I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
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I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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