she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
