She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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