Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
