New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize