I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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