Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
