Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You took a bar mat shot.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
