he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
