God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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