There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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