Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
