dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
