lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
