It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
