woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
