Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My dick has a subreddit
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
