we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
