Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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