About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
