Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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