I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
