My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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