So drunk its hurt
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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