OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
