they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
